Crossover Fun
by Frafarello
Summary: The first entry IS a disclaimer because I'm too lazy to put one on EVERY CHAPTER. SO! Rated as such for language and squishy yaoi later.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER!!!  
  
None of the stories in this series belong to me. Well, the characters don't. They are owned by their respective creators in Japan. I simply took the idea of the character and threw into this mix. I make no money off of this, so please please please! Don't kill me. Thanks! 


	2. J's Bad Idea

"You've done what?" Duo asked, incredulous.  
  
"I have invented a time machine!" J said proudly. His left hand clicked habitually.  
  
"Is that even possible?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Apparently so..." Fei said slowly, walking around the machine slowly. It was a large structure, shaped much like a traffic cone, only bright blue rather than orange. From the top protruded a long pole with a small ball on the top. The entire structure emitted a high pitched squeal that made the pilots cringe.  
  
"I had heard these things were impossible..." Trowa commented dryly, looking up at J through his bangs, like he always did.  
  
"It is simply a matter of rearranging molecules, that's all," J said defensively.  
  
"Have you tested it yet, J?" Heero asked, his face blank and emotionless.  
  
"Well, sort of. I sent a dog into last week, and brought it back."  
  
"A...dog?" Heero said, raising a brow ever so slightly.  
  
"Is that supposed to comfort us somehow?" Fei asked, peering into the expansive space that would hold all six of the men present, plus a few more.  
  
"Well, do you want to test it?" J asked.  
  
"Can we?" Quatre asked excitedly.  
  
"No. It's not safe yet. We don't know if it really works."  
  
"You're such a spoilsport, Heero. Come on; we've trusted J all these years; why is this any different?" Trowa smiled a little, causing Quatre to blush.  
  
"...Trowa..."  
  
"What? It's true; has J ever led us astray? I mean, is that the face of a doctor who would cause you to grow an extra limb, or lose one?" He motioned to the innocently grinning pyscho doctor.  
  
"Yes."  
  
J looked hurt. "You know, Heero, as a child, you were much more complacent."  
  
"As a child, I hadn't lived through a war."  
  
"He has a point," came a small rebuttle from inside the machine. Fei was inspecting it closely, entraced by the wires that laced the roof.  
  
"Be careful in there, Chang. We don't want you getting sucked back into, like, 2002," Heero warned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a clutz like Duo."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Good point." Quatre began to circle the contraption, stopping in front of the control panel. "Explain this to me, J. Please?"  
  
"Of course." The older man stood beside Quatre. "This button here sets the destination date. See, now it says 2000 AD."  
  
"I read about that time in history!" Quatre said excitedly. "They didn't have mobile suits or anything."  
  
"Precisely. Now, here, you set for the number of people who are going on the excursion, and here, you give them a time limit to get back to the deportation location. If they miss that window of one hour, they can never return to this century."  
  
"Well, that bites." Trowa peered over J's shoulder at all the shiny buttons.  
  
"Yes. The only way they could get back is if someone went to find them, which would be nearly impossible, because this machine dumps you somewhere different every time, and you have to leave from that exact spot. Now, this red button here activates the machine. It scrambles the molecules in your body, sending them along a cosmic line of atoms that stretches along time. It's much like a timeline that you used to make in school, where each atom is a different day in a different year. The nuclear construction of each atom determines exactly when you arrive, since each is different."  
  
"Really? That's amazing. How did you figure it out?" Duo asked, finally giving in to his curiosity.  
  
"Well, it was quite simple, first I-" J turned and bumped the red button.  
  
The high pitched squeal grew in volume, and the ball atop of the conical contraption began to glow. That glow spread down the pole, filling the entire cavernous space of the machine. Fei's sillouhette appeared; he covered his eyes with his hands, hunching down to protect himself. Swirling around him were what looked like thousands of tiny bugs, but were, instead, thousands upon billions of molecules. White light filled the warehouse, forcing all the pilots to close their eyes and look away.  
  
When they finally looked back up, the machine was empty, their ears ringing. "Fei!" Heero shouted. He leapt into the machine. "He's...he's gone!" 


	3. Flowershop mayhem

"Yohji-kuuun..." Omi whimpered, looking frantically from the blond to Ran, who stood in the middle of the basement, shooting daggers at each other.  
  
"Be quiet, Omi," Yohji said acidly.  
  
"My afternoon activities are none of your business, Kudou," Ran said softly. His voice was harsh and angry.  
  
"It is if it interferes with our missions!" Yohji took a step forward, but was halted by Ken's hand on his shoulder. "Where were you last night, Ran?"  
  
"I told you, it's none of your fucking business, you whoreson of a flea!" The swordsman's brow furrowed angrily and he turned, racing up the spiral staircase.  
  
"Yohji, I can't believe you made him swear!" Omi looked aghast at the blond.  
  
"Yes, well. At least now we know the swordsman has some emotions. Fuckin' psychopath." Yohji shook his head and stepped out the back door, slamming it behind him.  
  
"Ken...what should I do?" Omi asked the older soccer player.  
  
"You're the only one who can calm him down. Go to Ran."  
  
Omi nodded and followed quickly after the redhead. "Ran? Ran, are you up here?"  
  
"What do you want, Omi?" came his harsh voice from the front of the shop. Omi stepped through the back door to see his friend's back.  
  
"I'm sorry about what Yohji said...why don't you just tell him about Aya?" The blond stepped around the counter, stopping just a few inches short of his tall redheaded companion.  
  
"Because he wouldn't understand." Ran crossed his arms, taking a step towards the street.  
  
"Ran, wait-" Omi began.  
  
Suddenly, Ran was lying on his stomach with an attractive Chinese man sitting on his back, looking slightly dazed. He glanced up at the ceiling shaking his head.  
  
Ran rolled over, throwing the man off. He rose into a crouched position, one hand extended beyond the other. "Who are you, and why were you laying on my back?"  
  
"Actually, I was sitting. The name is Chang Wufei, though most people call me Wufei. Please, stand up. I will not fight you." Chang stood slowly, dusting himself off.  
  
"Hmph. How did you get...here?" Ran asked slowly, straightening.  
  
"I...I came through a time machine, actually. In the year 196 AC."  
  
"196 A...what?!" Ran furrowed his brow. "Are you sure you are..."  
  
"Sane? Actually, I am perfectly sane. More so than any of the others I work with." Chang took a look around the shop. "Where...well, and when...am I?"  
  
"You are in the middle of the Kitty in the House flower shop, in the middle of Tokyo, Japan. The year is...is 2000 AD." Omi bowed his head slightly, extending one hand in greeting. "I am Tsukiono Omi. It is wonderful to meet you."  
  
The attractive man shook Omi's hand. "And you."  
  
"Fujimiya Ran," he said formally, also extending his hand.  
  
Chang smiled slightly as he shook the swordsman's hand. "I am sorry for my...abrupt entrance. I hope I did not injure you too soundly."  
  
"Nah. Omi here has caused more damage than you." Ran took his hand back and winked at Omi, the previous conversation forgotten.  
  
"Omi? Are you up here?" came the call from the back room. Ken and Yohji emerged from the back room. Both stopped in their tracks as Wufei turned and looked calmly at them both, his hands clasped behind his back. "O- Omi...who is this?"  
  
"The name is Chang Wufei. I am-"  
  
"Ouch!" Four men landed in the same spot as Wufei did, piling unceremoniously on the shop floor. Because of flailing limbs, several shelves of flowers collapsed onto the floor, spilling dirt and blooms everywhere. Duo ended up on the top. He rolled off, rearranging his braid so it fell down his back. Glaring at the ceiling, he laughed. "Well, fuck me colorless, the old coot did it!"  
  
"Duo! T-Trowa, Heero, Quatre...what are you guys doing here?" Wufei asked, his introduction also forgotten.  
  
"Well, J wanted us to find you, and to...do some research, I believe he said. So we're here for the next six months." Duo slapped Wufei cheerily on the back, causing the man to stumble.  
  
"Oof! I see..."  
  
"So...who are all these attractive men you seem to have acquainted yourself with, Fei?"  
  
Omi blinked, blushing deeply. "Uh...uh...I'm...I'm Tsukiono Omi, the redhead is Fujimiya Ran, the brunet is Hidaka Ken, and the tall blond is Kudou Yohji."  
  
Each of the men bowed their heads to Duo. "And you four are?" Ran asked.  
  
"I'm Duo Maxwell," said the man with the braid.  
  
The other three had managed to right and separate themselves. A blond youth said, "I'm Quatre Winner."  
  
"Heero Yuy," a man with brown hair said quietly, his deep blue eyes firm.  
  
"Trowa Barton," muttered a man with his deep brown hair shadowing half his face.  
  
Yohji shook his head, clearing his mind. "You...you..."  
  
Duo turned to look at him. "We what?"  
  
Ken looked up at Yohji when he gave no answer. "Close your mouth, Kudou. You're drooling." The soccer player tapped his friend's chin.  
  
Duo blushed and looked away. 


	4. Afterschooldear GOD

"So...what you're telling me is that...a man named...J...made a time machine, and the five of you traveled through it to..." Yohji tried to reason.  
  
"Japan, 2000 AD. Right. How hard is this to understand?" Heero asked Trowa.  
  
"Patience, Yuy. These men-"  
  
"Man. I've got no trouble understanding this," Omi said defensively.  
  
"Right. Sorry. This man here, is dense. Moreso that even Duo...on a bad day!"  
  
"Hey! Be nice," Duo complained.  
  
"Well, it's the truth."  
  
"Hmph. So, what do you guys do for a living?" Duo asked, looking around at the four florists.  
  
All nine of them sat in the back room, some on the floor, some on stools, and some on the shelves. Ran leaned against the wall by the door, watching for customers. Duo sat on the floor in front of Quatre, who sat on a stool beside Heero. Trowa and Fei also sat on the floor in front of Yohji and Ken on the shelves. Across the aisle, Omi sat beside the violets.  
  
Omi looked nervously at Yohji and Ran. Both gave him the look of "you're the leader, you decide." Sighing, Omi looked back at Duo. "Well, during the day, we're florists. However, at night, we-"  
  
"Eeeee!" came the squeal from the front of the shop. Instantly, Fei and Heero were up, hands on the their guns. Ken and Omi cringed.  
  
"Oh no...school's out!" Yohji wailed. He buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Come on guys. There might be one real customer out there today," Ran said hopefully.  
  
"Right, Fujimiya. And I can fly," Kudou sniffed. "Come on, you five. You can see us at 'work'." Groaning, Yohji put on a fake smile and stepped into the shop. "Ladies," he said charmingly.  
  
"Ken...what's going on?" Quatre asked warily.  
  
"All the schoolgirls come by here every f-f...day and swoon over the four of us. It's really annoying, but Momoe says we have to be nice." Chocolate eyes glance at Ran. "So be nice."  
  
"You take all of my fun, Hidaka." Ran grabbed a tray of gardenias and stepped into the chaos.  
  
"Do you guys want some help?" Duo asked, grabbing an arrangement.  
  
"Please?" Omi whimpered. "Those women scare me."  
  
"I cannot believe you are scared by women..." Fei snarled.  
  
"Ignore him, Omi. Wufei has...problems...with women." Duo winked at Chang.  
  
"Women are weak. It is as simple as that." Wufei stepped into the shop, noting stoically the collective gasp from the crowd.  
  
"Fei, I don't think your being in there is a good idea," Duo called from the back. "Uh...er...um...Fei!"  
  
"I'll be fine, Maxwell." Leaping up onto the counter, Fei raised his arms. "Ladies!" he yelled. The women looked up at him, silent. "How many of you are here to purchase some flowers?" About four women raised their hands. "Fabulous. You ladies, go speak with Ran. As for the rest of you...CLEAR OUT!" As a whole, the women cringed away from the short Asian who glared at all of them.  
  
Slowly, the women filtered out of the shop, leaving only the nine men and four women. Nodding resolutely, Fei jumped down from the counter and walked back into the back. Violet and cerulean eyes followed him, all four of the florists' jaws dropping.  
  
Omi followed Fei as Ran tended to the orders. "Wufei...that was...that was..."  
  
"Incredible," Heero finished.  
  
"Yeah...how did you do that?"  
  
"I told you; I hate women."  
  
"Well, no, I told him you hate women. You simply verified that fact." Duo winked at Fei and patted Omi on the shoulder. "Get back to work, kid."  
  
Omi spun and smacked Duo across the jaw, snarling as the American fell to the floor. "Never call me that."  
  
"R-right...s-sorry..." Duo lay on the floor, massaging his jaw ruefully. "Ya didn't have to hit me, Omi."  
  
"You wouldn't understand. None of you would." Omi spun on his heel and raced down the stairs.  
  
Ken watched him go and shook his head. "I shoulda warned you about that, Duo. I'm sorry." Ken offered him a hand off the floor.  
  
"What the hell?" he asked, dusting himself off once again.  
  
"He won't even tell us." Ken brushed a long strand of hair off Duo's cheek, tipping his head sideways. "Wow...he left a nice mark on your face."  
  
"Gee, thanks." He pulled away and continued to massage his injury, and his pride.  
  
"Hey, where's Omi? He's supposed to be out here!" Ran said, sticking his head into the back.  
  
"Duo called him kid," Ken said simply, grabbing a water bottle.  
  
"Shit..." Ran snarled, thinking a moment. "Yohji, the floor is yours," he said over his shoulder as he followed the blond down the stairs. 


	5. A New Job?

"Schuldig, you are aware that tonight is your night to cook, right?" Nagi said from the kitchen table as his orange haired companion walked in.  
  
"What? I thought tonight was your night!" Schu reached into the refrigerator for an apple, emerging victorious. He bit into the flesh of the fruit appreciatively, grinning.  
  
"No. I cooked the night before last. Last night was Brad. Which means today is yours." The dirty blond looked down at his computer, typing rapidly.  
  
"Actually, wouldn't that make tonight...Farf's?"  
  
"No. No. HELL NO!" Nagi looked up, panicked. "You CAN'T have Farf cook...do you remember what happened *last* time Farf cooked for us? I can't eat chicken soup anymore! It always tastes like paint!"  
  
The German laughed, his eyes closing. "Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad."  
  
"You didn't end up chewing on a chunk of dried paint! It was disgusting! I was hurling all night long..." He twitched.  
  
"I do recall that."  
  
"So glad. So it's your night!"  
  
"Actually, Nagg, it's your night. You cooked two nights ago." Brad walked in, reading his newspaper.  
  
"Damn you and your math skills, Bradley." Naoe snarled at his computer. "Fine, fine."  
  
"Good boy." Brad patted the top of his head, sitting down across the table.  
  
"Bite me, Bradley. We'll...go out for pizza!"  
  
"You intending to pay?" Steeley eyes glanced over the paper at the fuming Japanese boy.  
  
"Why not? I've actually got money, since I don't spend it like Schu-Schu over there."  
  
"Yes, all my money just incinerates my pockets, and I can't keep hold of it." Schu tossed the apple core into the sink, smiling at Brad's obsessive- compulsive twitch.  
  
"Truer never words were sprung forth from thy German mouth. Nagg, you're computer is beeping."  
  
"Dangit. Means Reiji wants us for...something. Someone get Farfie." Nagi began to type on his precious electronic contraption.  
  
"I'll get him..." Brad set down his paper, open on the table. Walking down the hall, Brad knocked on Farf's door. "Farf?"  
  
"Come in."  
  
Brad opened the door to see Farfarello sitting in the middle of his room, completely naked, polishing his knives. He bled from one or two new injuries, none very serious. One golden eye looked up as he smiled. "Hello Braddy. Reiji calls?"  
  
"Farf! Put some pants on!" Brad blushed furiously, tempted to jump his Irish friend.  
  
Farf rose, standing with his legs at shoulder's width. He looked down at himself. "Don't you like my body, Braddy?"  
  
"Uh...um...p-pants...Farf...p-pants..." Brad turned, twitching slightly.  
  
"What about pants? You're wearing some, yes. Do you want me to be in them, Braddy?"  
  
Misunderstanding him, Brad nodded frantically. "Yes."  
  
Farf grinned and walked to Braddy, molding himself to the American's back, sliding his hands into his friend's pants. Long fingers stroked the insides of Brad's thighs. "Do you, now?" he whispered hoarsely, hotly, licking the sensitive skin of Brad's earlobe.  
  
"F-Farf...!" Brad whimpered, breathy and a little needy. "P-put...o- on...y-your...p-pants...n-not.m-mine..."  
  
"Aw...all right." Farf removed his hands from Brad's pants and bending down to pick up his own pants. Stepping into them, he looked at the back of Brad's head. "Better?"  
  
"M-much. Let's go." Brad opened the door and led Farf to the kitchen.  
  
Schu raised a curious eyebrow at Brad's flushed face, and Farfie's standard chaotic one, but said nothing. Rather, he looked to Nagi. "All right, Prodigy. What's the situation?"  
  
"We are to eliminate an assassins group by the name of Weiss. They are comprised of four men, Tsukiono Omi, Fujimiya Ran. Kudou Yohji, and Hidaka Ken. Unfortunately, we don't have images of them, but I think we can make due. The four of them work and live in the Koneko flower shop, owned by a woman named Momoe. Apparently, the flower shop is the hotspot for girls after school, since all four of them are incredibly attractive."  
  
"Reeeeally?" Schu said softly. Brad shot him a glare and looked at Nagi.  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"They are led by...Suiichi? What, that can't be right."  
  
"It is..." Schu said softly, his mind racing.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Reiji and Suiichi have a long-standing hatred that few understand."  
  
"Schu-Schu, you know I hate liars..." Farf said softly.  
  
~I'm not lying, Farf. I am ignoring the facts. There is a distinct difference.~  
  
"Cheater," he whispered.  
  
~I know.~ "All right, boys, when do we start?" Schu winked down at Farf, lifting a shoulder casually before looking to their stoic, emotionless leader.  
  
"Now. Schuldig, you go down to the Koneko tomorrow, and see what you can find out. Nagi, you do research on the Koneko from the computer, see if anything turns up. Farfarello and I will wait until you have something solid we can play off of. Remember, these four are assassins, which means that they are going to be capable men, and will understand sabotage. Especially if they work under Suiichi."  
  
Schuldig offered his standard, two-finger salute before turning and disappearing down the hall to his room. Loud German music filtered through the door, causing Bradley to twitch once again. 


End file.
